I have been living in shared apartments for the past 3 years and have moved three times. In my last two places there were no bins in the bathroom, so each of us kept our sanitary waste in our own rooms – that's what I was used to. I keep a small bin in my room because I consider it a personal hygiene thing.
In my current flat (3 girls total) I have been here for about 7 months and this was never discussed. Last week one flatmate said whoever takes out the kitchen trash should also empty the bathroom bin. I told her I don't use that bin, so I'm not comfortable doing it. She insisted it is part of shared cleaning.
The other flatmate backed her up and both kept pushing that I should do it anyway. They even asked what I would do "at my workplace" if I were asked to clean the restroom trash – I work as an AI Engineer, so the comparison was absurd.
What really hurt was their judgmental tone when they said they couldn't understand why anyone would keep a bin for sanitary napkins in their own room, especially "in the same place where we have gods and pray". That felt personal and unnecessary.
Since then I've been angry, upset and a little confused, wondering if I'm thinking about this wrong. My mom says periods are given by the same god and there's nothing "impure" about them.
So I want to know: in shared apartments, is it common or expected to dispose of other people's sanitary waste as part of the cleaning rota, or is it reasonable to treat it as a personal responsibility?
TL;DR: Flatmates expect me to empty a shared bathroom bin that contains their sanitary waste as part of cleaning duties. I have always handled mine privately and don't feel comfortable doing theirs. They think I'm being unreasonable.
It's definitely not normal to be asked to take out someone else's sanitary waste; those girls have a problem.
It's not common to throw away other people's sanitary waste just because it's your turn for kitchen trash. Period. It's also unusual to keep a trash bin in the bedroom for this waste – doesn't it smell? My two cents: have separate bins in the washroom if it's bothering everyone, and make it clear that emptying their sanitary waste is not your job.
I'm sorry, what???
I have never seen anyone do that and I never do it myself. My sanitary waste is my own responsibility – I don't expect others to clear the bathroom bin for me, and I don't do it for them either.
How can they not take responsibility for their own stuff? And that weird comparison with cleaning bins at work makes no sense. Just say NO to them.
What the hell? I've never heard of roommates holding meetings to assign each other's pad trash.
Personal waste should be a personal responsibility.
Alternate view: to me, waste is waste – simple. You don't have to handle it with bare hands, you can wear gloves. So why the fuss about sanitary waste versus non‑sanitary? It's an absurd mindset. Sweepers and cleaners don't get to choose, so why treat their work as inferior or taboo?
These girls don't like you, OP, and they are basically torturing you on purpose.
Guys, they aren't asking her to touch their used pads. The bathroom bin just contains pads along with other trash.
I have never moved sanitary items to a place that isn't a bathroom. Hand‑wash, hello?
It's a bit unhygienic to touch door knobs after handling period blood without washing your hands.
My maid takes out my trash and we stay hygienic about it – she ties the bag and dumps it. If something spills we clean it, otherwise it's no big deal. Soap and water are basic hygiene 101 after dealing with periods.
Period blood isn't so unclean that it can't be near gods, but it's important to wash hands before and after handling tampons, cups, pads, etc. The rest is just personal preference.
I've had guests surprise‑period and stain a sheet; I washed it and everything was fine – no infections. Maybe stop treating periods like a disease. When guests toss a pad into the trash I don't force them to take it to the curb the next morning because I don't want to touch someone else's sanitary trash. It goes into a bag, not into my hand.
In my home we share trash and adults handle chores without tantrums. If you don't like taking out that trash, ask someone else to do it and pick up a different chore. Buying gloves is a simple solution if you have the ick for period blood.
Why are you all sounding like teenage boys talking about periods? If someone makes a mess they clean it. If everything is hygienic, just take out the trash, ffs.
I don't know why, but keeping sanitary waste inside your room sounds unhygienic. Apart from the stigma, it can attract insects and bacteria – a health hazard. At the very least put the bin right outside your bedroom door, not in the bathroom.
I think it's only unreasonable if the sanitary waste has been sitting for more than 2 days and is thrown directly into the bin without a liner or bag.
Otherwise you'll see the waste anyway when you open the dustbin to throw out other bathroom items like makeup cotton, old toothbrushes, etc. So the problem disappears if you just take the bag out without touching the waste.
Both points of view sound strange. The girls are being super orthodox about "gods and sanitary products", but it's also not normal to keep sanitary waste in the bedroom. You roll it up, toss it in the bathroom bin (which is lined like any other bin) and whoever's turn it is takes the whole bag out. You're not actually touching the waste.
Both mindsets come from the belief that periods are impure and that period products are somehow dirtier than regular trash. I'm curious about how people who agree with the OP handle bathroom cleaning. Do you all skip cleaning your shared bathrooms?