Hi everyone, I'm writing this because I genuinely don't know how to process what happened, and I feel really overwhelmed right now. Please be kind, I'm already being very hard on myself. I'm 22F, quiet, shy, and sensitive. My life has been repetitive lately - work from home, help family, stay in, same routine every day. I'm a 'good family person' type, but I felt bored and stuck, like nothing new was happening. Career-wise, things are going well; I recently got a PPO as an AI Engineer. But personally, I felt like I had little real-life exposure. I take care of myself - yoga every day, physically slim and fit, kind-hearted and soft. I'd never been physically involved with anyone before, never even masturbated or fingered myself. I decided to try Hinge out of curiosity, boredom, and wanting to experience something once. I just wanted to lose my virginity. I matched with a 28-year-old guy; the only reason I chose him was that he reminded me of someone from my past. I wasn't looking for a relationship; I just wanted to lose my virginity. In chats, I told him multiple times to be kind and patient. The first time didn't work out, but the second time we met, we booked a hotel - I paid. On the way, he tried to touch me physically; I moved his hand away because I wasn't comfortable. At the hotel, I felt uncomfortable; people were looking and smiling in a way that made me uneasy. When we reached the room, he initiated physical contact; I was tense and uncomfortable. He tried to get more intimate; I felt immediate and intense pain. I told him multiple times to be gentle; I was stopping him again and again. Even minimal physical attempts were extremely painful; I started crying. He kept saying things like 'itna dard nahi hota' and that maybe something was wrong with me. Instead of slowing down, he kept trying. There was a lot of discomfort, dryness, and friction; nothing progressed properly. Only his 1/4 dick inside me and one finger - not fully. I was crying; my hair was all over my face; I was overwhelmed. At one point, he got irritated too. After that, he left; I was still there, crying alone in that room for almost half an hour. That hurt me the most - the lack of basic kindness. He didn't ask if I was okay; didn't stay. Nothing. I messaged him; I asked if I 'lost my virginity' because I didn't understand what happened. He replied, 'I don't know, ask your friend.' Later, when I asked why he left early, he said, 'mera kya jaata, main dhakke se daal deta, maine nahi daala na.' That reply disturbed me. Since then, I've been feeling stupid, embarrassed, confused, and shaken. I have a few questions: 1. Was this kind of pain normal for a first time, or was something off? 2. Is his behavior normal in casual situations, or was he being insensitive? 3. Why do I feel so emotionally affected even though I didn't know him? 4. Did I actually 'lose my virginity' if it didn't properly happen? 5. How do I stop feeling like I'm cheap and desperate for this? Please be honest, but kind; I'm already feeling really low.
Good ai use lad ????
U dont need to rush things... Take ur time... Consult a gynecologist
This wasn't your fault; you weren't ready, your body showed it, and he ignored your boundaries; that's on him. His behavior was insensitive, not normal; you're hurt because it was your first experience, and that matters emotionally. And no, this doesn't define you or make you 'cheap'; you were just curious and trusted the wrong person. Be kinder to yourself.
Did this really happen? I do not believe so; if it has, then you are being unkind to yourself. You should get to know a person first; do not rush into this. Be kind and considerate to yourself; don't put yourself into such situations. What if this person was much worse than he was?
Pain is real. Maybe only try sex when u love someone and take time not rushing things
First, if you don't explore your own body sexually, nobody else can pleasure you right because you need to guide them. Second, you're so wrong for choosing someone based on another person's resemblance from the past. Third, people are people; we're human beings, not apps installed with programmes that will never get irritated or impatient. Fourth, people sign themselves up on dating apps 99% of the time out of sexual desperation and deprivation. So it's obvious that the guy started touching you in the car itself. And about the hotel people smiling, let them; it's just sex, everyone does it. We're literally the most populated nation; everyone's fucking bro. Fifth, he's clearly a bad sexual partner. Plus you became tensed and clenched your body, leading to vaginal tightness or vaginismus. I've seen this with a previous partner; the only way to get it off was to make her feel loved, comfortable and relaxed. Used lots of water-based lubricant as well and never pushed for sex after one point like this guy did; he was obviously just trying to get laid. Lastly, you chose the worst direction for yourself sexually based on your inexperience and the worst place (dating app) for the partner. He is a despicable man who just wanted to fuck. Be better; losing virginity this way traumatises a person so bad they're afraid of sex and the body tightening and clenching increases on later attempts at sex as well. You sound like a good soft girl; you deserve better. Don't rush into intimacy; look for lovemaking instead of letting someone use your body to masturbate themselves.
Why would someone want to lose their virginity to a complete stranger?? Why not with a real bf who you trust and dated for atleast 6 months? Have some standard for yourself. Just saying
welcome to another episode of Fuck around and Find out
holy shit bro; I'm also 22f and exactly like this - I'd say do it with the person you genuinely love and attracted to and it should be mutual.
who tf hooks up wanting to lose their virginity