Yaar, I'm so exhausted with myself. I've tried every tip people give after a breakup – chatting with new folks, picking up new hobbies, hitting the gym, even becoming more religious just to find some peace. I've done everything to keep busy and move ahead. But no matter what I do, not a single day passes without thinking about him. We were together for almost 5 years. He started dating someone else a week after we split, and I'm still here trying to figure out how to breathe without what we had. I don't know how to stop loving someone who was such a huge part of my life. I don't understand how people just let go and move on.
Some days I'm scared I'll never love anyone the way I loved him, or that a part of me will always belong to someone who has already chosen someone else.
Does it really get better? How do you let go when your heart still hasn't moved?
Mine is day 188, the last time I talked to her she was as cold as an iceberg. Let's keep going, bro!
Look, it will take some time. I get that it's been almost 9 months for you and you still feel stuck. I'm in the same boat, trying all these things. Some days are better, some are worse, but I've realized that each day improves by a tiny 0.001 %. So don't give up and don't lose hope – things will get better!
PS: If you just want to talk, you can text me and we can cry together.
It's been 4+ years since my breakup, after a 3.5‑year relationship that ended badly. The first few months were a total mess – I can't even remember anything, I don't know how I survived. After a year things got better; I got busy with studies and stuff, but I didn't want to look for love again or date any guy.
Fast forward to now, I don't think about him often. Only the tiny moments – his birthday, a song, something that reminds me – bring him back. It does get better but it never fully leaves you. I'm still not ready to think about finding love or dating again; maybe I'm just exhausted, I don't know. I just don't want to jump into it.
I hope you heal soon, find peace again and be genuinely happy!
This breaks me even more – what if this is how my love life will always be? We broke up just 10 days ago.
You're not failing, you're healing from something that truly mattered, and that kind of love takes time to settle. One day he'll just be a memory instead of a weight, and the shift will happen so quietly you won't even notice it.
You'll just move on one day without even realizing it. Just say 'bhaad mein jaaye' and believe it.
Some boys are pure hell; I've also been through all this.
Let's take breakups at face value and accept them radically. I think people who haven't moved on keep going back to their exes. It took me 2 years to finally cut off an ex who abused me. He kept finding ways to contact me, and I kept lying to my friends and entertaining him. They belong in the past for a reason. Start home workouts, find protein‑rich recipes and try making them – you'll realize how short our time is. I might sound like an Indian dad, but that's how things are. Don't waste time and adult energy.
You're just living in your head instead of accepting the reality that the guy wasn't in love and was already moving on while you were together. So when the breakup happened, he found someone else and started dating.
The only thing you need to do is detach. Let go of the fantasy you built over the years – it's not the real person.
You're still grieving; the final stage is acceptance. Right now you're stuck in bargaining and depression.
What helped me:
1) You don't instantly move on after getting closure. Every day you try a little, and eventually you realise you've got the closure you needed. It's 99.9999999 % achievable – they'll always have a place in your heart.
2) What you're stuck on is an idea of him that you created in your mind. That version isn't him anymore, but your brain keeps holding onto it. Not moving on properly isn't just about him; it's about how attached you are. You can love someone else too.
Hope that makes sense. Take care, sending lots of virtual hugs.