So I had an arranged marriage conversation recently that honestly left me a bit stunned, and I'm curious if others here have had similar experiences. For context: I'm a top MBA grad from one of IIM ABC, doing fairly well financially, and I'm not someone chasing dowry, family wealth, or status. What I want from marriage is actually pretty simple compatibility, mutual respect, and building a stable life together. I'm also someone with very strong protective and providing instincts. I like taking responsibility for the people in my life. I enjoy building a career, creating financial stability, and making sure my partner and family are comfortable and secure. My idea of a good life has always been fairly simple, enjoying the little things, building something meaningful with someone who appreciates it, maybe raising a family and having a peaceful home. Because of that mindset, I've never been obsessed with marrying into a rich or "hi-fi" family. Coming from a lower middle class family, i never felt i would fit into a hi-fi lifestyle anyway. I'd genuinely be happy with someone from a modest background as long as she's respectful, grounded, and values the life we can build together. Recently, through Bharatmatrimony, I got connected to a girl from a tier-3 city. Parents connected and things seemed fine, so I thought let's explore and have a conversation. But the very first call quickly turned into what felt like a non-negotiable checklist of lifestyle demands. She said very directly that: • She's looking for someone earning at least ₹50 lakh per year • She wants to live in a tier-1 city • She expects to travel abroad every 6 months • She doesn't want kids anytime soon because she "doesn't want to ruin her body," maybe after 35–36 just for society • She also mentioned she doesn't like cooking or managing household responsibilities For context, she's currently earning around ₹3 lakh per year and lives with her parents. Now I'm all for people having preferences and ambitions. Everyone is entitled to want a certain lifestyle. But what honestly shocked me was the level of entitlement in the expectations. The entire conversation sounded less like someone discussing a partnership and more like someone describing the premium lifestyle package they expect a husband to deliver. And I kept thinking to myself, what exactly is the reciprocity here? Marriage, at least the way I see it, is supposed to be a partnership where both people bring something meaningful to the table: effort, responsibility, emotional support, stability, appreciation... something. But when someone earning ₹3L a year, living with their parents, openly saying they don't want to contribute to household responsibilities, doesn't want children for the foreseeable future, and yet expects a ₹50L+ income lifestyle with international travel twice a year... it's hard not to see a massive disconnect between expectations and contribution. At that point it stops sounding like a partnership and starts sounding like a one-sided lifestyle upgrade plan funded by the husband. And what genuinely bothers me is that I'm actually someone who likes being a provider. I like building stability and taking care of the people in my life. I'm not against supporting my partner or giving her a comfortable life. But there's a huge difference between providing for someone who appreciates and contributes to the partnership and being treated like a financial engine meant to bankroll someone else's expectations. To be fair, I didn't confront her on the call. I just politely said I don't think we're compatible and ended the conversation. But the whole interaction left me wondering: Are expectations like this becoming common in arranged marriage setups these days? Or did I just run into an unusually extreme case?
You basically answered your own question
I would just run in the opposite direction
First time, huh
This is hilarious, I think she just wanted you to reject her, that's the only explanation.
This kind of thing is way more common than people think. When I was going through this process two years ago, I met quite a few girls like this, not most of them, but around one in three, which is still pretty high.
You really dodged a bullet but honestly, most girls have these kinds of expectations, it's just the level that varies from person to person. Some want a guy earning one crore, some want fifty lakh, some want two times that, some want three times that, some want assets worth a few crores, some want a rich lifestyle and all that. Social media, plus the fact that there are more guys than girls, has created these expectations in girls. Your job is to find the best among the remaining ten percent of girls who don't think like this, otherwise just stay single if you can't find someone who shares your thoughts. But never be desperate for someone and try to meet their expectations, just evaluate and analyze what they bring to the table. Marriage is not the ultimate goal, being single is the default state of every human, if someone adds value to your life by being your partner, then that's great, otherwise it's better to stay single.
While I do want my partner to take care of the financial aspect since I don't feel very driven towards the career side, I'm willing to contribute emotionally, take care of the house, and even want a family of my own. This girl's attitude is just pure entitlement.
I have a similar profile as you, I'm a software engineer at FAANG in Bangalore. I met a girl who was similar to you, she wanted to settle abroad. And almost every girl that I meet asks me why I haven't bought a flat in Bangalore.
Women know what they want, but with this kind of attitude, I hardly think they'll get anyone
You're someone who likes being a provider, but some girls just look for a life upgrade through marriage, and she's one of them. I'm surprised an IIM ABC grad like you chose to speak to a girl who earns a fraction of what you do, and then made a post about it on Reddit. So next time you hear a girl list out these kinds of expectations, you know what to do, just don't be the guy they're looking for.