I grew up in a family where money was always a problem.
We had the basics – food and house. Anything beyond that felt like a luxury. I remember asking relatives to help pay my school fees, and the constant stress around money was just... normal. My father passed away when I was in 11th.
Now, as an adult, my husband and I are in the top 0.5% earners in the country. On paper, we're doing very well.
But here's the part that surprised me:
I still feel anxious about losing money.
Not big, life‑changing losses. Even small uncertainties - like deposit deductions when moving houses - trigger this disproportionate stress. Logically, I know it doesn't matter. But emotionally, it still feels like it does.
It made me realise something uncomfortable:
Your financial reality can change, but your "money mindset" doesn't automatically upgrade with it.
I'm trying to shift from obsessing over potential loss to focusing on creating more – but it's not as easy as it sounds.
I'm following this thread because I want to see how others cope. I'm in the same boat.
I notice a pattern: spending around 2k on myself feels excessive, yet when I buy something for my mother I don't even check the price. Afterwards I feel guilty for both purchases, even though they felt good at the time. It's a weird spiral!
Agreed. I'm in the top 1% of earners too, and I still overthink and feel regret about losing small amounts because I wasn't careful enough.
I think it's the opposite for me.
I became rich in my mind long before the bank caught up. I'm 21, have made over 3cr since 2022 and lost close to 70L due to bad decisions. I'm now doing about 1cr a year – not sure which percentile I belong to, but I never worry about losing money. I do splurge 5‑10k on a single dinner when I go out, and many other silly spends, yet it never bothers me. Even if I lost everything today, I'd be okay. Maybe it's because I'm young, but responsibilities will pile up soon.
Same boat. My mindset is still stuck in the past.
I'm just glad I'm aware of it.
I'm starting to enjoy experiences I once craved, but I'm not at the point of saying I've fully arrived.
What specific things are you all doing to move past this?
I'm in the same boat. I had to buy a MacBook – believe me, my old laptop helped me land a good software‑engineer job, so it felt more like an investment. Still, my hands were shaking while I made the payment.
I still feel guilty. Yet when I bought a phone for my mom, I felt completely guilt‑free.
Similar upbringing, but my relationship with money is a lot better now. My wife comes from a slightly richer background, so her habits weren't as damaged, and luxury wasn't seen as evil in her family. It took me years to change, especially after I got into the FIRE movement's frugal mindset in my early 30s – that was poison for the mind. Thankfully those thoughts are behind me.
What helped me was converting money problems into 'days of work'. For example, if you earn 10k a day and your landlord cheats you out of 20k during a house move, that's just two days' worth of money. I'd fight for it, sure, but it's only two days of worry, not more. After that I can push it to the back of my mind.
The same works for last‑minute flight bookings: if the extra cost is less than a day's income, I don't stress over it. I'm still very disciplined with money, investing over 60% of my earnings, so I haven't fallen into runaway lifestyle inflation.
I've seen this first hand with my parents. They're literally in the top 0.2% of India by wealth (top 1% by income) and still panic if they think they've lost just 20₹ in a deal.
Sometimes their extreme reaction to losing tiny amounts frustrates me, but in a way it's understandable – they value every rupee. I learned that from them. I keep telling them that inconsequential amounts shouldn't disturb one's mental balance, because money is meant to bring comfort and peace in the end.
I relate to every word. I'm in the 1% too, but I still fear spending money and prefer investments over buying depreciating items.
The childhood trauma runs deep, and I never want to be back in that situation again.
Same situation, which is why I don't worry about small losses. Even if I lose everything, I strongly believe I can rebuild, so I'm not too concerned about minor expenses.
I don't see anything wrong with the approach – earning good money and spending it wisely is always smart. But there should be a balance; you need to enjoy life too. Maybe take a vacation now and then, make some purchases, and keep at least 10‑15% of your income for guilt‑free enjoyment.