I'm a 21‑year‑old female and I don't even know where to start. In just a few days my life feels hijacked. I came back from my hostel after exams to relax with family, but within four days my parents arranged an engagement and forced me into it.
I said no, I cried, I begged them to stop, but they went ahead as if my opinion didn't matter. They've already given ₹5 lakh in cash to the groom's family and now use that against me every minute. They keep saying if I back out they'll be ruined financially and socially.
Right now I'm still at home, sick with high fever and on my period, and instead of being cared for I'm constantly pressured, guilt‑tripped and verbally torn down. My mom keeps using her health and the "family reputation" to control me. I feel horrible and completely trapped.
I do have a hostel I can return to in a few days, and I also have someone I love... but I'm scared of what will happen next.
I need help understanding a few things:
1. They're making it seem like I'm responsible for the ₹5 lakh. If I refuse the marriage, is there any legal way for them to get the money back?
2. Once I go back to my hostel, can they force me to come home? What can I do to protect myself?
3. I feel like I'm destroying my parents even though I never agreed to any of this. How do I deal with that guilt?
4. What laws in India actually protect someone like me from a forced marriage?
I just want to finish my studies and live my life. I didn't ask for any of this, nor did I ask them to spend that money.
Please help.
TL;DR: 21F. Came home after exams, parents forced an engagement and paid 5 lakh as dowry. I'm sick, emotionally blackmailed, feel trapped. Going back to hostel soon – need advice on legal rights, safety, and how to get out.
Just commenting to bring more attention – hope you get the help you need.
The only realistic option is to run away.
Commenting for better reach to people who can help
I'm sorry you're going through this. Put yourself first and stop worrying about their money or reputation – they're not thinking about your well‑being anyway. You are not responsible for their cash or their name.
Plan a safe escape. If you go back to the hostel, will they try to stop your college or hostel fees? If yes, plan accordingly and get in touch with NGOs for support.
Important – Keep your ID documents and any gold with you; don't let them take access. Find a reason to return to your hostel – say you need to finish the lease, pack your things, etc., and then leave. There's basically no other safe way out.
Make sure they cannot lock away your papers. Get a job, change your hostel and phone number. Locate the nearest women's help centre or NGO and ask for guidance.
I wouldn't rely on the police; they often won't help. Share your plan only with a few trusted female friends. Stay untraceable.
Reach out to friends or a trusted extended family member for help. Keep looking for ways to become financially independent. This is not your fault; your parents are the ones forcing you into this, and you owe them nothing for not respecting your consent.
Don't let the guilt trip you – if your life gets ruined, can they fix it? No, so don't give in. I'm not a legal expert, but I hope someone with the right knowledge sees this and can guide you.
Legally they cannot force you to marry. The amount of money is big, but it is not bigger than your life and the precious time you should spend studying. Walk out, sister! Tell them to get married to society, not to you.
You are an adult; forcing you into a marriage is a crime. You didn't ask them to pay the ₹5 lakh, so you are not responsible for it.
What if you somehow convince them this time and they do the same again?
What if they had paid 10‑20 lakh instead of 5 lakh?
You are an adult and forcing you into a marriage is a crime. Walk out and let them deal with the consequences. You didn't ask them to pay the ₹5 lakh, you are not responsible.
If they ask why you want to go back to the hostel, tell them you want to earn that money back. Hopefully you are near the end of your education and won't need to depend on them much longer. Stay away, earn, take care of yourself first and then your family if you still care.
Reach out to any NGO or a counsellor to talk to your parents about not forcing you. You could even say you'll die if they force you, but that's not a sensible or practical solution.
Going through this will ruin your life. Try your best not to get trapped. Good luck.
Try going back to the hostel and tell a counsellor or someone in a higher authority about everything. No matter what, finish your degree and get a job. A dependent woman's life can become hell. Legally and technically you are NOT responsible for the money given to the groom's family. I doubt the groom's family would press a dowry case against them.
It is illegal for your parents to force you into marriage against your will and guilt‑trip you. Please don't be afraid to take action so they don't ruin your life – you only live once. You don't owe your parents anything, not even the ₹5 lakh; that was their decision. Don't feel guilty about it. Run away and consider legal action if possible. I wish you all the best and never give up on what YOU want.