so I, a 23‑year‑old girl, met this 22‑year‑old guy about three months ago through a mutual friend. We started chatting and things moved fast.
We'd only known each other for a month when he already proposed. From the beginning I told him I'm introverted, don't go out much, and have a strict family. He said he understood, but his actions were the opposite.
He expected me to meet him every 2‑3 days, be on calls for hours, video‑call at night, react to every reel he sent, basically be available 24/7. I actually tried – I skipped classes, made excuses at home, met him multiple times even when it was risky.
Because of that I stopped meeting my friends. I used all my "going out" excuses on him, and eventually I had none left for my real friends. He kept asking for more.
At the same time he kept pushing for sex even after I said no several times. He even admitted once that he was pressurising me because he "couldn't wait".
On the day he proposed he said he wanted to "connect fully" before leaving for a six‑month internship that he claimed started in 2‑3 days. He kept repeating "I'm leaving in 2 days" whenever I couldn't meet, but he never actually left.
He was super controlling from the start – he asked for my Instagram password to "make the profile more creative", got mad when I didn't give it, told me to change my WhatsApp picture, even said he wouldn't let me wear a certain dress.
He suggested sneaking into my house when my parents weren't home. I told him my family is strict and my building is the kind where neighbours notice everything, but his solution was always "just lie" or "say I'm your brother".
He would say things like I'm "not girlfriend material" just because I haven't watched certain movies. He kept saying he wants a girlfriend who talks all the time and spends all her time with him, even though he knew from day one that I'm not like that.
He also asked me to send nudes. I told him I would never send nudes, but he kept asking to "show on video call" saying "I can't save nudes on video calls, so it's safe". I never did it and kept setting my boundary, yet he kept asking and got upset when I said NO.
Looking back, it feels like he never liked me for who I am. He wanted a full‑time "girlfriend experience" – constant attention, emotional availability, and physical intimacy – without respecting me as a person.
The final straw was how drained and pressured I felt all the time. It never felt natural or safe; I was constantly adjusting.
So I stopped calling and texting him completely. It's been about a month now. He messaged once saying "what do you even want?" but I didn't reply.
When he proposed and said he'd leave in just a couple of days, I knew he'd push for sex. Girls, you should test boys for at least 8‑10 months before accepting anything – proposals, video calls, etc. Wait patiently; if he really wants you, he'll do everything right. Boys shouldn't be whining; they should be tested.
All those are big red flags. Staying away is the best choice, no matter what.
There are too many red flags, you can't handle all that in such a short time.
This is what happens when you accept someone who's after the label, not you. It's even worse when he doesn't realise his behavior, doesn't apologise, and just asks "what do you even want?". I hope you learned a lesson – impulsive decisions rarely work out. Best of luck for your future!
If you feel suffocated, why not leave and move on? Not every relationship is meant to last forever.
How can they have so much audacity? Do they think everyone is just horny like them? Sure, sex is a basic need, but it should be respectful. If your motive is only sex, just be clear about it. I'm 21 male and never thought I'd be that direct with a girl.
Don't you think he was overly controlling?
He doesn't actually like you; he just needed someone to fill that spot.
Stay away from him.
I'm sorry you had to go through this. It's good you didn't send nudes or have sex with him. I know guys who target introvert girls, get what they want and then either ghost, cheat, or turn toxic. You're safe that you didn't comply – otherwise he could have blackmailed you later.