My cousin is looking for a marriage. They found a match with a girl from a famous IIT who's quite wealthy – that's what they were after, though I don't know many details. My brother lives in the US. They rejected her because she has a dark brown skin tone. Even if he had accepted her just for the IIT tag, it would have been a messed‑up marriage. Arranged marriages feel like business deals; only the 'perfect' one gets signed.
Edit: I didn't give full context earlier – my brother didn't reject her, her family did. They're finalising other options and will later show him a fair‑skinned girl. He's nice to me, I'm not sure if he's obsessed with fair skin, but his family definitely is. The obsession with fair skin, thanks to Bollywood, is at its peak. I'm glad Hollywood shows us browns and even dark folks as beautiful.
I feel people look for a partner who's pretty and rich, expect dowry, and want the girl's side to be even richer, same caste. I've seen families give more than 10 cr as dowry and brag about it. They also want the woman to work in the US, etc. It's like you're selling your kids – some may adjust and bond, others won't because they're strangers. Divorce is a big issue for Indians.
When you date, at least you know the person a bit.
I don't get how grown adults can't find a partner on their own.
They've always been business deals – not a new thing. Everyone gets taken advantage of. It's really messed up.
I'll never go the arranged‑marriage route, and thankfully my parents won't force me. I've heard far worse things happen to some women I know.
We should look at each case‑by‑case scenario. Not every love marriage works, and not every arranged marriage fails. It's really a roll of the dice.
No. Both love and arranged marriages can have racism, casteism, misogyny, etc. It all comes down to how you pick your partner and your own values.
Marriages have always been a business deal. To be honest, the success rate is quite low. Many people are just surviving unhappy marriages.
Arranged marriages feel like a scam. How can you truly know someone and fall in love in just a few months? It's nonsense.
I've seen several arranged marriages work well when the families are compatible, while many love marriages end in divorce early on. Marriages aren't black‑and‑white; it depends on the people involved. Your cousin, who rejects girls because of skin colour, probably isn't a great match for anyone these days, so he could mess up a love marriage too. Labeling any type of marriage as 'fucked up' isn't fair – many men and women can't find a partner for their own reasons, and arranged marriages can give them a chance. Finding the right partner is what matters, and not all arranged marriages have to be rushed. Nowadays people have more flexibility to take their time.
My mother once told me being fat is worse than being dark‑skinned. I still wonder why she said that.
Marriage feels like a scam.
I can't believe a family‑arranged marriage is ever a good thing. Nature gave us the right to choose our own partner.