Off my chest: When I was 22 I started waking up to my dad standing at the head of the bed, right by my head. He'd just walk away after I opened my eyes. It happened many times and I never understood why. He used to sweep my and my brothers' rooms in the morning, so he often had a broom in his hand. I thought maybe he was just cleaning, but I'd see him looking straight at me. It felt like a coincidence, but I always woke up the exact moment he was watching.
I told my mom; she believed me and confronted him. He just shouted and hit me. I thought about putting a hidden camera but couldn't find a place to hide it.
This went on for about 6‑7 months. I started wearing high‑neck men's T‑shirts to sleep so nothing was visible, and it worked – he stopped coming into my room.
I tried to convince myself it was just a coincidence, but one morning I was sleeping on the hall bed and he was again standing near my head, not even holding a broom. I asked him angrily what he was looking at. He said nothing and left. Later he asked me if I had seen Mom's phone. He went to Mom and said something about me "talking nonsense" and that I was looking at his phone. That's when I realised he was lying to cover up his staring.
I've started talking to him less, I avoid his food, and I feel very uncomfortable around him. My mood changes the moment I see him after work. I barely reply to him, just "han, ok, nahi". I hate him but can't do anything; I feel calmer when he's not around.
Mom knows, but my brother and sister think I'm making stuff up. He shows more affection to my elder sister – asks her what she wants to eat, cuts fruits for her, and gives me the leftovers.
I think being the second‑born daughter matters. He never loved me as his daughter, never treated me right. I'm sharing this because I haven't even told my best friend.
I also think he has mental issues. After Mom argues with him, she finds her clothes torn or with holes. We know he does it but can't say anything. Mom has confronted him many times, which ends in violent fights and objects being thrown. He uses abusive language; we always ask him to stop. I always defend Mom, which makes him hate me more. Even my clothes are getting holes.
To be honest, I want him out of the house. I don't care if he dies.
I'm really sorry you had to grow up feeling scared in a place that should have been safe. You deserved care, trust and protection, not anxiety. None of this was your fault.
Right now, focus on your safety and emotional wellbeing. Keep strong boundaries with him. Limit interactions as much as possible, avoid being alone with him if that feels safer, and protect your personal space. You don't owe closeness to someone who harms your peace.
My heart goes out to you. Having your own father stare at you like that, when he's supposed to protect you, must feel terribly violating and heartbreaking. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. How are you doing now?
I relate, OP, and want to share how I cope – our ages are similar. Sleeping becomes very private as we grow; T‑shirts can ride up, necklines can slip, we might sleep on our stomach exposing our backs. So I do a few things:
1. Always sleep with a blanket or chaddar covering me from head to toe, even if it feels uncomfortable.
2. Sleep in a lockable room that only I can access.
3. Wear longer‑fit tops so even if they ride up, they still cover me.
Behaviour changes:
1. Use a harsh, angry tone with my dad while staying normal with everyone else, so he knows I'm aware and won't tolerate it.
2. Hold him accountable – point out every time he does something wrong, which makes him do it less.
3. Tell him I'll take the issue to an elder relative like dada or tau, or even file a police complaint.
Extra steps (may sound extreme but I'm from the same place, so I hope you understand):
1. Marry and leave the house – marriage can be an escape.
2. Move out using a real or fake job pretext, or just be blunt that it's because of him. That will stop the behaviour.
Sending you strength, OP. Be firm, be rude, protect yourself. If the world calls you a bad daughter, own it. No one will protect you except yourself.
I'm really sorry you went through this. What you're describing isn't small or "in your head". Your discomfort makes sense. Being watched like that, then dismissed or punished for speaking up, can leave a deep sense of unease and distrust.
You don't have to accept feeling unsafe or disrespected. If you can, focus on what gives you more control now – create distance, keep your space secure, or plan long‑term independence. It might also help to talk to someone outside the family, like a trusted friend, a counsellor, or a support helpline in India such as 181 women's helpline.
I'm sorry, OP, I never thought anyone could be this bad, especially an Indian father. This is extreme, like something out of Kaliyug. I wish you the best, I'll pray you find a good husband and children who help you forget this trauma.
If you have a job, move out. If you don't, find one and move out. If you can't even at 28, then find a partner, get married and move out. And never come back.
Reading your first paragraph made me sad for what you're enduring, and the second‑daughter angle made me think the staring might have been worse than just a creepy look – maybe even hatred or a desire to hurt you. I can't imagine that level of anger.
Now some parent‑worshipper will come and tell you to be grateful because he gave you life, provided for you, and you have responsibilities. I'm sorry you're dealing with this from someone whose kids idolise him like a superhero. You need some financial independence and to move out. Invite Mom to your rented place or something like that.
The disbelief, betrayal and panic you're feeling is huge; I can only empathise with what you're enduring. It's inspiring how you stood up for yourself instead of giving away your dignity.