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Categories => Relationships, Dating & Marriage => Topic started by: Ashwin on Apr 16, 2026, 02:30 AM

Title: Friend (30M) just married, looks headed for a dead marriage
Post by: Ashwin on Apr 16, 2026, 02:30 AM
My friend (male) got married through an arranged setup. They only had about two months of courtship. They started texting right after meeting for the first time. He told her everything that could affect her decision – his past relationships, religious views, expectations from marriage, etc.

He asked her to move on from any past relationship. She swore she didn't have any. After two‑three weeks she told him about a boy who used to stalk her, saying he loved her and wanted to marry her. He even called her father asking for her hand. She said she was scared. Her parents went to the boy's house and settled the issue, and she says he never contacted her again.

Fast forward to eight days before the wedding – invitations out, preparations in full swing – she confesses that she had actually been in a relationship with that boy but broke up because he was cheating with two other girls. Her trust was broken, but she says that's all and there's nothing else to hide.

They get married. Two‑three days after the ceremony, the boy messages her on WhatsApp after midnight. She tells my friend about it after about 48 hours. My friend blocks the boy on her WhatsApp and asks her to block him on any other app. After asking many times, she finally admits she's still in love with him and wants to marry him, but the family won't approve.

The next day my friend checks her WhatsApp block list and sees the boy isn't blocked any more. She says she unblocked him because she doesn't like keeping anyone blocked. He blocks the boy on Instagram, but she keeps unblocking and re‑blocking just to check his profile. My friend asked her to change her mobile number, but she refuses.

Both come from conservative, rural families. My friend was always okay with her past, even if it involved physical intimacy, and never spoke harshly to her.

He wants to build the marriage on trust and love, but now he can't trust her. He's not sure if she really wants to spend her life with him or is just under family pressure.
Title: Re: Friend (30M) just married, looks headed for a dead marriage
Post by: Nisha on Apr 16, 2026, 02:30 AM
Those monsters are ruining lives just for fun.
Title: Re: Friend (30M) just married, looks headed for a dead marriage
Post by: Ankita on Apr 16, 2026, 02:30 AM
The marriage is already in trouble. She hasn't moved on from her ex – that's clear. Unblocking him, constantly checking his profile and hiding things shows she's still emotionally attached.

It also looks like she was forced into this marriage. She said she wanted to marry that guy, but her family didn't approve. Your friend entered this with honesty and trust, but that foundation is shattered.

Since it's an arranged setup, involve both families right away. Be crystal clear about what's happening and tell your friend to keep a record of everything – messages, actions, everything.

He should seriously think about moving towards an annulment because this isn't a small issue that will get better with time.
Title: Re: Friend (30M) just married, looks headed for a dead marriage
Post by: Kartik on Apr 16, 2026, 02:30 AM
Your friend shouldn't have married her after finding out she lied and kept changing her story just eight days before the wedding. If she can lie once, she can lie a hundred times.
Title: Re: Friend (30M) just married, looks headed for a dead marriage
Post by: Tarun on Apr 16, 2026, 02:30 AM
Crazy and tragic. If he had read Dostoevsky, this might not have happened.
Title: Re: Friend (30M) just married, looks headed for a dead marriage
Post by: Charu on Apr 16, 2026, 02:30 AM
This is so scary. How can anyone really know if the other person is telling the truth? (In her case, moving on.) Everything feels like a gamble these days. If you hit it, you hit it... or it's just a massive loss.
Title: Re: Friend (30M) just married, looks headed for a dead marriage
Post by: Nandini on Apr 16, 2026, 02:30 AM
Your friend should go to the girl's parents' house, tell them everything and hold them accountable too.
Title: Re: Friend (30M) just married, looks headed for a dead marriage
Post by: Satish on Apr 16, 2026, 02:30 AM
Your friends will either go mad or waste years in court for a pointless divorce. And I hope this isn't just ragebait.
Title: Re: Friend (30M) just married, looks headed for a dead marriage
Post by: Mukesh on Apr 16, 2026, 02:30 AM
I can see what will happen next – she'll try to contact or even meet the boyfriend in person. Probably during the honeymoon she'll find an excuse to go back to her parents' house, meet him somehow, and then she'll get slapped and end up trying to return to that guy again. The other outcome is a dead bedroom that will eventually lead to divorce.
Title: Re: Friend (30M) just married, looks headed for a dead marriage
Post by: Tanmay on Apr 16, 2026, 02:30 AM
Sorry for interrupting, but my new account has low karma so I can't post on Reddit. I'm really desperate for advice. I'm a 21‑year‑old female and my boyfriend is 23. We've been together for about six years and everything has been perfect – an ideal relationship. A few days ago I felt stabbed in the back. The person I trust and love the most told me there might be an intercaste issue. I was devastated and have been crying every day. He said he doesn't want to lose me and will definitely talk to his parents. He said his mom will try to convince the other side. Please tell me what I should do? He never mentioned this before we got into the relationship.
Title: Re: Friend (30M) just married, looks headed for a dead marriage
Post by: Cricfan on Apr 16, 2026, 02:30 AM
Involve the whole family. If she can't respect him and their relationship, she doesn't deserve any consideration. Her entire family needs to know, and he needs to secure himself.