I'm 26 and my girlfriend of 24 just rejected my marriage proposal, need some advice here
We both come from middle class families, our dads work in government jobs, and we're working in different fields, I'm more into tech and she's into marketing. I've been living away from my parents since school, while she still lives with hers despite having a job on the other side of town. We met through friends and have been together for a year now, but we're not very intimate, saving that for marriage. She's never been in a relationship before, while I've had one girlfriend in the past. I'm a straightforward guy, I say what's on my mind, but she likes to beat around the bush and expects me to figure out what she wants. It gets exhausting, and I've told her to just be direct, but she doesn't seem to listen. I'm not very close to my family, but I'm always honest with them. She's close to her cousins, but she lies to her parents a lot, and even gets her friends to cover for her. I understand that some parents can be strict, but I don't like that she lies about small things like going out for dinner with friends. Her parents won't let her move out, and she just goes along with it, which I don't think is right. Recently, I asked her to marry me and suggested we tell our parents about our relationship, but she completely rejected the idea. Now she says we should just be friends, which I don't get. I asked her what's wrong, and she says she just doesn't feel the marrying vibe. I told her we can take more time, but she thinks it's better if we just stay friends. She also says that my straightforwardness is a problem, and that I won't fit in with her family because they're more into showing off. I'm a simple guy, I don't need expensive things, but her family is different. We've talked about our future, and I've told her that we'll be in it together, and we'll set some rules and divide up the household chores. I'll take care of the cooking and cleaning since she doesn't do that, and we'll hire some help too. I've also told her that I'll follow her religious practices to some extent, even though I'm not very religious myself. The thing is, I've never really understood what love is, but I think it's about doing things for each other that we wouldn't normally do. I think she wants someone who's really in love with her, but she says we have a connection, even if she doesn't always understand me. I'm a simple guy, but she's more complicated, and I know what she wants most of the time. I've set some boundaries, and she respects that. To sum it up, I think she rejected me because of my straightforwardness and because I won't fit in with her family. Or maybe it's because of my financial situation, I don't know. What do you guys think, should I just be friends with her or move on?
Just move on, dude, there's no point in trying to figure out what's going on in her head. She's not going to tell you the real reason, and even if she does, it's not like it's going to change anything. Maybe she was just looking for a casual relationship, who knows. Just block her and focus on yourself, you'll be better off.
I'm not trying to criticize you or anything, but I think your relationship just isn't mature enough for marriage. You've only been together for a year, and you're already talking about marriage, that's just too fast. You guys haven't even gotten past the honeymoon phase yet, and trust me, it takes years to figure out if a relationship is really worth it in the long run. And then there's the issue of financial compatibility, you like a simple lifestyle, but she might have different aspirations, and that's okay. Maybe she's just not ready for marriage, and that's something you should consider. Her not being clear about what she wants isn't helping either. Maybe you guys should just take a step back, spend more time together, and then see where things go from there.
I think your girl has someone else in the picture, but she's not sure if he's serious or not. Being friends with you is like a safety net for her. You two are just not compatible, and it's better if you just cut her off and move on. You seem like a pretty calculated guy, but marriage isn't just about weighing the pros and cons, it's about a lot more than that. And just because someone doesn't like doing something, doesn't mean you should let them off the hook, especially when it comes to basic responsibilities like household chores.
Dude, you're not as important to her as you think you are, so if she's asking you to be friends, just don't bother, walk away. Any reason she gives you is just an excuse, and you don't need that in your life.
You deserve so much better than someone who doesn't appreciate you for who you are, so just move on and find someone who does.
I think there are just too many excuses here, and it's time for you to walk away. You guys have different ideas about the future, and that's okay, but it's not worth trying to make it work if it's just going to end in pain. She says my straightforwardness is a problem, well, that's just not something you can change, and if she can't handle it, then she's not the right girl for you. Just end it now and don't bother with the whole friends thing, it's not worth it.