So, I'm 31F. Independent, atheist, earn my own living, have my own home that also houses my wonderful mother. I've been very clear about marriage and I've told my great parents (divorced) that I am not ready to get married and when I am ready, I will let them know. For the past 2 years they have been bringing up the topic of marriage on and off but I've been adamant. I have also clearly stated that I have decided to be child free as I do not intend on bringing a child into this messed up world. Now, I have a cousin who is jobless, meekly, does nothing in his life and living off of his working parents and good for nothing. He is 26. My mom's sister has told her that we looked "good" together and that they should have us married. Mind you, I come from an highly educated background. Even my grandparents were not regressive. Now, my mother and uncle (the kid's father) are trying to "convince" me that he is a great, kind person and that he'll "take care" of me if we get married. Apparently he's a wonderful person and I'm too old that I won't find men to marry at this age. And, their case is that he's too innocent to marry him off to an outsider. WTf!! I told them that I'm not some scrap that they can just throw away and besides what sort of effed up incest are they promoting? My parents are grade A narcissistic people. No this. I screamed and scolded them. No effect. They think with time I will adjust. Seriously? They also said that the religion allows it (iykyk). We're not that pious. So, why are they playing this game? Have all my relatives lost their marbles? Ugh. I'm feeling so suffocated.
Update: Thank you ladies for instilling the courage in me and letting me know that I'm not in the wrong here. You're all amazing I've worked really hard to get here and nothing can make me back down. Worst case scenario, I will go no-contact with everyone and build a better life for myself.
1. Are you a south Indian?
2. This feels like a grand scheme of getting the guy set for life. You will be both earning And taking care of the good for nothing man-child and the latter will have the permanent excuse of being younger to escape any form of work.
P S : him being too "innocent" to marry outsider translates to "him being too worthless" and no outsider would touch him with a barge pole lol
Tell your parents politely to stop. if they still force you, choose yourself and cut contact with them.
Just read : you're housing your mother..dude, be firm and tell her you would kick her out if she continues doing this. (I know sounds harsh...but you need to protect yourself...your mother has no gratitude..let everyone be damned..)
Have you interacted with this cousin ever? Is he also interested? Bevause if that's the case then this whole family is looking at bonding you to a good for nothing person
Laugh in their faces. Bring up their divorce. Immature tactics for highly inappropriate and immature behavior because families donot understand boundaries and that women are not rehabilitation centres.
Girllll just run. You're an independent, earning well and you have your own house just be alone. Nobody wants to deal with such kinda toxicity that too from family.
"wonderful mother"
proceeds to convince her daughter to get married to a manchild . The irony
What this really is:
They've found a safe, familiar girl (you) to solve a problem (him). This guy sounds like a good for nothing, man child who's going to ruin your life.
Run as fast as you can! I'm so sorry you have to go through this.
Have they forgotten that religion needs consent? Are they aware that the religion expects man to be the primary provider? Do they know that your religion allows your money to be only yours and you are not obligated to spend even a paisa on your future husband?
For him you are a financial security and according to your parents for you he is a namesake husband who might miraculously change one day.
I didn't read the whole thing. The title was enough.
Simple: GHAR SE NIKAL/BHAAG JAO
GIRL! please get iout of there at the earliest and if you have the means to move out and go no contact do it. Please. They will keep forcing and even escalate to emotional blackmail.
IMMEDIATELY LEAVE
FWIW, you are not the scrap. He is! They want to keep your wealth in the family. Hence the scheme